bmi stuff, swimsuit shopping, and saying goodbye

My body seems to really, really like the mid 150s. Like, really like them. It makes sense. This is where I was for most of college and into my early 20s. I am tempted to say that this is a natural weight for me and call it a day on this weight loss journey. But if I went to my doctor today, she would tell me that my BMI (body mass index) is solidly in the overweight category. Solidly. I am still 13lbs from a “normal weight” BMI.And hear me: the BMI is not gospel. DanO was pre-med in college and has his degree in applied health science. I know the inherent problems in the BMI tables. But I also know that they are a good general ball park for health, and even as general ball parks go, I have room for improvement. That is why I will still be on this journey for a while longer.Even if it takes another month to break out of the 150s, I will keep at it. And did I mention that my body likes the mid 150s? Yea. Keeping at it is looking harder and harder lately. I am nothing if not motivated by instant results, and these last few weeks have been hard for that. The most encouraging thing to me, though, is how far I have already come.December 28, 2011 —> June 9, 2012.I have no reason to doubt that I can get to my goal weight – I have already lost more pounds than I have left to go! If I can lose 33lbs on Medifast, I can lose the rest.One of the only bummers of losing weight and changing my body has been the clothing debacle. Last year, you might remember that I bought a great swimsuit that I actually felt confident in. I love that swimsuit, but now it hangs off of me. It might be a tough sell, but believe me when I tell you I am bummed about that (really!). I only got one summer’s use out of that suit and now I need a new one (see also: $$). The bummer lasted a short while, though, because heaven help me, I went swimsuit shopping and enjoyed it. Yea, you heard me. I ended up finding one for a very reasonable price at a local boutique Target.Also hanging off of me lately (besides my children): all my clothes. I have so many clothes that I love that no longer fit me well at all. My closet was bursting with wardrobes in a range of many, many sizes, but some of the clothes were worn only a few times and I just couldn’t bring myself to do the trash-bag-to-goodwill thing with them (Gap! J.Crew! Anthropologie!). Serendipitously, a friend invited me to a clothes swap with her church tonight, so I went through every last pile of clothes and was very liberal about what I’m giving away at the swap. Good bye, weight. Good bye, too-big-for-me clothes. I hope to be able to snag some great finds in my new size at the swap and let my old clothes some more use.But can I be honest? Giving the clothes away scares me a little. It brings to light the insecurity I have about the permanence of these changes. What if you gain it back, Allison? Especially after another pregnancy? O, I know. I know about those statistics of gaining back lost weight. I know that the end of the diet/loss phase is only the beginning of the actual journey and that choosing health is a life-long venture. But at the end of the day, when I declare to myself and my closet that we will not go back there, I feel a pit in my stomach. When these worries start to consume me (pun intended), I try to remember something  Lysa TerKeust wrote in her fantastic book, Made to Crave. She writes:“Moment by moment we have the choice to live in our own strength and risk failure, or to reach across the gap and grab hold of God’s unwavering strength. And the beautiful thing is, the more dependent we become on God’s strength, the less enamored we are with other choices… The reality is, even when we stand on the scale and see out goal weight staring back at us, we’re always just one choice away from reversing all the progress we’ve made. I’m not saying victory isn’t possible. But victory isn’t a place we arrive at and then relax. Victory is when we pick something healthy over something not beneficial for us. And we maintain our victories with each next choice.” – Made to Crave, Chapter 17The very next choice. It is about my very next choice. Was my last choice not so great? O well. Making a disciplined next choice is what makes me victorious. One choice at a time from here on out. Thoughts like that make me confident as I stack those old-me jeans onto the donate pile.Bring it on, next choice.:: :: :: :: :: ::My Journey to Health:June 12, 2012: 154lbsJune 1, 2012: 155lbsApril 28, 2012: 160lbsMarch 31, 2012: 163lbsFebruary 29, 2012: 166lbsJanuary 30, 2012: 174lbsDecember 30, 2011, 187 lbs33 lbs lost!:: :: :: :: :: ::How am I losing that weight, you ask? Medifast!! If you use the coupon code, OFAMILY56, and sign up for Medifast Advantage, when you order $250+, you’ll receive 56 free Medifast Meals and free shipping! (More details at the bottom of this post.)Disclosure: I receive free product in order to evaluate and comment on my experiences on the Medifast Nursing Mothers Program. I will only ever tell you how I actually feel about this experience and the Medifast products. Pinky swearsies. I am supposed to tell you that the Medifast Program is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or illness and that any medical improvements noted while on the program are related to weight loss in general, and not to Medifast products or programs. K, you got that? Good. There will be a quiz later.